Transatlanticism

I have a recurring dream. I dream that one day, the world declares me as the world's best debater. I dream that I am the supreme lord and mistress of all things debate-related, and that whenever I walk into a debate, the aisles go silent as the audience is awestruck, and all the judges unanimously decide that there is really no point in holding the competition, because the best debater in the world has arrived, and so giving me the trophy and moving on with their lives is the smartest thing to do, because there is really no point challenging me.

But it's just a recurring dream.
And there are debates that you just cannot win.

Sometimes I like living with only one of my parents. It means that when I have exorbitant demands, I only have to hear one resounding "No!" instead of two. Living with only my mother around means it gives me a clean chit when I want to watch Grey's Anatomy AND Desperate Housewives back to back because I want to watch it, and so does she. It means a lot of things. It means that you can eat whatever you want on weekends and promise the other that you will begin cutting down on Monday, which you won't, but it's something you have to say to assuage your conscience. But it also means that I cannot win a verbal fight, because my mother fights like a girl with experience, as opposed to me being an inexperienced girl-fighter.
Fighting verbally with a female is much tougher than fighting with a male. If you fight with a male, you can begin to try and gouge their eyes out at any point in the argument, and therefore, very soon, you can just abandon logic and rain blows upon them. However, if you fight a female, the same rules cease to apply. At no point can you want to hit them very hard. You can clench your fist and imagine it, but you cannot do it. And the first person to deliver the emotional blow is generally the winner. And seeing as how my mother is very good at this, it is easy to understand why and how I lose spectacularly.
every.
single.
time.

More importantly, if you happen to be a debater and you are fighting with a parent, sooner or later in the argument, the parent will yell at you saying, "Don't try and use your debating skills on me!". Which will, usually, make you use bigger words to try and explain your predicament - it's not really your fault you know so many words. Which will then anger the parent because it may seem like you are implying that they are stupid. Upon which they will tell you how they educated you and now you are an ungrateful *insert colourful vernacular abuse here* and do not deserve much of what you have been given. Any retaliation beyond this point is futile. You are advised to desist and go and do some Math. That is the closest you can get to showing that you are, in fact, repentant.

And therefore, I hope I have proved to you beyond a shadow of doubt, that even good debaters can never win something against their parents.
Because the progeny is almost always never right.
Grr.