I'm Going Slightly Mad

1 comment(s) Posted by VelocityGirl (tm) at 1:32:00 PM

I wonder if this happens to everyone? Every time that I actually want to sit down and study, something keeps happening. Like, if I'm googling something for an answer, I'll start Facebook-ing (is that even a word?), or I'll start up conversations on MSN, and have about seven tabs open. If I'm doing Math with my iPod plugged in, I start doing karaoke and I start bopping (What a godawful word) to the beat, and then it goes downhill from there. I haven't studied at all (honest) this weekend, or even today, and the thing is, I want to but I feel somehow incapacitated. I open a book, and I cannot decide where to start, and by the time I start, I'm already bored. And I find ways to run online, or watch TV or something. I know, yeah, this is just EXTREME procrastination, but it's getting to a point where I'm beginning to scare myself. I'm not under any sort of pressure or anything (Psh, the ISCs are ... well, okay, I lied.). The thing is, I've never behaved like this before. I'm startling myself - I've never been one for studying much, but I'm not studying at all, and if I EVER want to escape to college I need to get through this.


Obviously, spending twenty minutes blogging about it has not really helped.

Playlist - 
Do It Again - Queens of the Stone Age
The Caves of Altamira - Steely Dan
Spitting Games - Snow Patrol
This Fire - Franz Ferdinand

(As you can see, Disturbia is off the list. Happy?)

 

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Reviews, Lists, and TAG!

3 comment(s) Posted by VelocityGirl (tm) at 10:56:00 PM

I just got home from watching 'Dasvidaniya - The Best Goodbye Ever.' It's a beautiful movie, and if you can, then do watch it. It is the story of a man who lives the most unimaginably sedentary life, and how he loves making lists, and how he makes and fulfills his penultimate list of Things to Do Before I Die. How one man is so inspired by death that he resolves to live life, fall in love, fall out of love, make a family, be famous - all in three months... it's a well-scripted movie with a strong plot. The background score is by Kailasa (Kailash Kher's band), and they produce some very rustic and earthy tunes that go wonderfully with the homeliness of the film. I would compare this score with Vedder's score for Into the Wild - it's very simple, it's very acoustic, it's lyrically rich without forced language, and it's got the feel of being very grounded. Vinay Pathak is effortless as the bumbling protagonist, but I loved the woman who played his mother, she was splendid in her scenes. All in all, a well-packaged, tightly scripted gem that I would definitely recommend. Most definitely.


What the film made me think about is my list of Things to Do Before I Die. I am morbidly afraid of death. Not in the way some people are paranoid and are afraid they are being trailed by mad hitmen and assassins; my fear is more of the kind where I worry about what happens when you die. My dad's father died when I was thirteen, and I remember some people crying with all their might, and I remember some people sitting quietly and contemplating. I remember my dad being stonily impassive through all the proceedings (he's never been the openly emotional kind), I remember seeing him glassily stare as they shaved his moustache, and I remember how the family looked for a suitable photograph that we could frame for the wall. I found the picture they finally used, he was smiling in that photograph, but what was he thinking before he died? Did he know, or was he just thinking of what he was going to do that day and then was interrupted by the Grim Reaper? Does he exist somewhere, spiritually maybe, physically he's just another set of ashes set to sail in the Ganga, does he like the picture we picked out, does he worry about where I'm going to go to college, is he even there?
And what happens when you die? What happens to the world you leave behind? Would you miss me, would you think of me when my favourite song came on the radio, would you delete my e-mails, would you visit this blog, would you wonder of what we could have still been had it not been for death? Would you cry, or would you put your grief in a box and grieve in seclusion, would you grieve at all? Will you remember me?

And here's a little more morbidity. My list of Things to Do Before I Die - (no particular order) (will be updated, keep looking.)
1) Publish a Book.
2) Go to a Snow Patrol and a Pearl Jam and a Damien Rice concert.
3) Throw a party for everyone I know and like, and tell them what I truly think of them.
4) Visit Stropko. (Like for real-real, not webcam or otherwise.)
5) Go to Russia. ( In the winter.)

You can do this tag if you want to, I just thought it would be interesting. (I'm tagging Michael in particular, but again, 'tis optional.)

Listening to - 
Disturbia - Rihanna (Surprising, innit? It's not a bad song, and it's rather catchy.)
Tell Me Baby - RHCP 
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Textbook Love - Fleet Foxes

 

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Artsy Girl and the Beggar Babies

6 comment(s) Posted by VelocityGirl (tm) at 7:38:00 PM

I hate the beggar babies outside school. There are two sets of them, one near the BITM bus-stop corner, and the other set lives next to the mosque, close to the place which sells all that junk-food. They're pretty horrible, these children. Every time you buy some street-food and savour it on the way back from School, (before you're forced to share it with the people in the carpool), they'll holler at you while hanging from the metal bits of the bus-stop railing, and they'll turn their eyelids upside down until your entire appetite disappears, and you're forced to relinquish your food to them. Friggin' beggars. I hate the ones at the bus-stop. 

Not as much as I hate the ones around the mosque. This one time, some of us were eating ice-cream outside the gate after one of the papers and a whole bunch of them descended and went, "Ey, Ey, Ey, Ami-o achskrem khabo! (x N, N=ad nauseam.) (Translation: "Ey, Ey, Even I want to eat ice-cream".) Then they circled us and sang that. Then the tiniest one tried to grab the ice-cream. A little while later (after we came out of hiding), we saw that the tiniest one had been abandoned by the rest. Although it looked kind of happy, because it was sitting on the goat that the people from the mosque had tied to the railing. (This was before Bakri-Id.)
So, anyway, I hate the beggar babies outside the School. Very uncouth.

But, this post is not about them. This post is about the only beggar babies I like. Near my house, there is a flower-store run by this oldish lady, and she sells really old and bad flowers, but people still buy flowers from her store for some reason. And near her store, on the pavement, there are these two little children who play and squeal all the time. I just assumed that they were part of the Indian-Suburb scenery. Not that I live the suburbs.(Tollygunge is hardly the suburbs, but still, it's sort of quiet-ish on the street where I live.) 
Then this one morning, I was waiting at the gate for my carpool to arrive, (It's always late.), and then I noticed the two beggar babies (one of them is five, and the other is two), skipping along the street barefoot, going, "Lalalalalalalalalaaaaaa!!". And since they spoke in my language of the Lalala, I grinned at them, and they grinned back. My mum, (who'd been watching from the balcony above all this while, the sneak) later told me their story. It's sort of sad, but it has a happy ending.
The two beggar babies are the grand-daughters of the old lady who sells bad flowers. The flower-lady's son was married to the mother of the beggar-babies, but then he died (well, that's what they presume), and then, their mother ran away and abandoned them. So, their grandmother adopted them (unofficially, duh), and now they live with her. They even go to school because some extremely nice rich guy in the neighbourhood has been financing their pre-school education. On days when they have no school, the two beggar babies (they are both girls), help their grandmother by skipping along to every house in the neighbourhood within walking distance and deliver flowers. I'm assuming the only reason the old lady still has customers is because her little delivery-girls are as cute as hell. They always run barefoot on the street, despite the fact that they both own shoes. They are friends with every stray dog in the locality, and all the dogs do their bit to protect them in the mornings, when the deliver the flowers. There's always a stray dog that accompanies them when they walk along, and every time a vehicle comes by, the dog nudges them to the side. They thank the dog by trying to climb over it, but I really don't think that the dog minds it. I have a feeling it likes it.
The two-year-old tries to even ride bareback on the dog on the return journey, but that is something even the dog won't put up with. 
So that's their story. Two abandoned little girls who are growing up as neighbourhood children. 
Sometimes, all it takes to change the world is a random act of compassion. (I didn't make that up, it's a quote from Evan Almighty.)

Also, in completely unrelated (well, not really) news, I've finally done a little more artwork. I did this on one sheet of paper, but I don't have a scanner, so I had to take a picture of them, which was essentially pretty sub-standard, so I cropped and made them separate images. I know the signature is not very necessary, but I'm like that, so there. 
I was actually trying to draw the beggar babies, but they look nothing like this, but it's still quite good, so I'm going to put it up. You can critique the art, but be nice. I'm not normally this artsy.


Listening to - 
Apocalypse Now - Muse (They amaze me with every song. Except Starlight, which was a piece of bullshit  - Well, it's not that great, Pff.)
Schrei - Tokio Hotel (Stuck in my head. And it's German, and the only part I can sing is "Nein nein nein nein, Schreeeeeeeiiiii!")
Whipping - Pearl Jam (Bloody awesome bass riff.)
Matinee - Franz Ferdinand (It's never complete without a seductive song by FF, now is it?)

 

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Ponderings on the American Electoral Process

7 comment(s) Posted by Stropko at 6:31:00 PM

Well, the election is finally over. Two years of ponderings, debates, scandals, arguments, speculation, and mindless drivel has finally ceased, so I figure I'll take one more look at the results and give my personal opinion on them.

We'll start with Barack Obama. He seems to be quite the lightning rod these days...I've never heard anyone express an indifferent opinion towards the guy. He's either the second coming of Jesus Christ, who will free America of all of its burdens, escort in a new era of prosperity and wealth, and bring CHANGE! (who woulda thunk it), or he's the Anti-Christ, a demon who was sent here to turn us into socialist weaklings who get terrorized every week, have abortion kiosks in malls, and allow men to marry inanimate objects. It's simply amazing how people can have such differing opinions on the exact same guy, with the exact same issues, and the exact same information. Anyhoo, while I personally would have voted for John McCain, I do wish Obama all the luck in the world. He's gonna need it.

Sarah Palin. Gah, why did McCain have to pick Palin. Yes, she did excite the base for awhile. Then, it kinda kicked in that she's a hockey mom with no foreign policy experience. And she's so. Damn. FOLKSY. Seriously, is it necessary to wink at the camera every five minutes? We know you're a mother who's incapable of naming her children names that will not scar them for the rest of their lives, but take this seriously. We know you're folksy. Show us that you can do, you know, political stuff. I think it might be rather important, no?

John McCain. Ahh, John the Maverick. Creating political turmoil for everyone but himself everywhere he goes. He doesn't conform to one party, he gets things done. I kinda like John (despite the fact that I think his constant reminder that he's a maverick is a bit weak--you're in Washington D.C., not the Old West. You're just a politician.), and I'd say I agree with him on a lot of issues. However, he kinda was the fall guy this year. After eight years of Bush, the conservatives didn't stand a chance. I think he ran a great campaign, he had a lot of dignity, and I've got a lot of respect for him.

I'm not even going to touch Joe Biden, because no one really knows about him. I will, however, leave you with a quote that he said during the Primaries. "The presidency is not something that lends itself to on-the-job training". I hope that Obama keeps that in mind when he picks his Cabinet.

 

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Oolf and the Girl

9 comment(s) Posted by VelocityGirl (tm) at 11:20:00 PM

Listening to - 
Michael - Franz Ferdinand. (This GAY song keeps getting stuck in my head.) (Oh, and haha.)
In Command of Cars - Snow Patrol. (Very, very moody. Unknown, and awesome.)
Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend. (I don't know, but it's very hooking. "Why would you lie about something dumb like that?")
Red Morning Light - Kings of Leon. (Just like that.)



Seriously, just because Anushka wanted to marry a wolf when she was four or something does not make her a true wolf addict. In any case, not that I care. However, you should know, that I am, and that I shall always be, the first of the greatly vocal wolf-lovers. 

I'm not going to tell you when and/or why I began loving wolves. Trust me, it's a very embarrassing story that only about two or three people know. The fact is, I fell in love with the amazingly masculine wildness that wolves embody. There is something so mysterious in their eyes, and their eyes have so much depth, so much of that erudite shine. There is that fantastically stately aura about them, that sense of power, that sense of dignity, and yet that slight strain of humility that stops it from becoming arrogance. There is that body, that shape, that streamline of a vicious hunter. The powerful ribcage, the ripple of muscle underneath that fur, the claws that are capable of unleashing utter bestiality. Sharp ears, alert ears. Powerful legs. The walk that borders, yet respectfully refrains from being a swagger. That gait, full of mastery. The turn of the head. The magical silhouette. And the howl that is just so raw, and so rugged, and so haunting.
Wolf is just hot, okay?

Yes. If you will excuse my animalistic lechery, I shall tell you more reasons why I am Oolf Lover Number One - 
I can draw a perfect wolf silhouette in under 10 seconds. It is an art. 
I did a 25 page project on wolves. The Iberian Wolf, to be precise.
I once had an imaginary wolf pet called Cinnamon. This would ordinarily be cute, but it's a little bit scary considering that I was 15 when I said this.
Cinnamon was a Cinnamon Wolf. I may not be original, but I have my facts right.
Besides, I love Wolf. I wanted to call everything Wolf. 
And if you notice, even this blog is slightly wolfish.
I always WOLF my food down. This is off-topic, but still.
I can also Howl like the Wolf.
I am always Hungry like the Wolf. (For food.)

And since I have begun babbling, its time for me to hit Publish. Hahahahaaa!!

 

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Saturday. And Sunday. And Suicide.

2 comment(s) Posted by VelocityGirl (tm) at 11:06:00 PM

I hate this weekend, which is saying a lot, because school sucked this week too.

A fifteen page Physics project, Chem orals, a random debate, Rogue Badminton(!). There's only so much I can do running on sleep-deprivation. And then comes along glorious Saturday, and then in the morning I realised that the Math tutor was arriving at 3.30, and I hadn't done any of his homework, so I had to solve three hours worth of Math in four hours, then the mother ranted about stuff, so I couldn't slack off in the evening either. I spent my evening studying Alternating Currents Theory, and I just noticed that the set of numericals at the back has 76 sums, not counting short answers, multiple choices, and higher level questions. And that inventory is for one book, and I have two books on Physics, so there goes Sunday. Solving about 200 sums on currents that go up-and-down, periodically. Whee. Grr.

Screw weekends.

My jailer is being an absolute mother this week. And reports come out next Friday, so in essence, I need Cyanide. Or Happiness. Either will do, but I may require a lot.

 

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Oh, and By the Way...

2 comment(s) Posted by VelocityGirl (tm) at 7:07:00 PM

"The last time we talked, Mr.Smith, you reduced me to tears. I promise you that won't happen again."

I saw you today, but you didn't see me, 
But maybe that was because I was hiding behind a tree.

For a long while, I debated over whether I should say "Hello", 
Or whether I should just look at you, and then let you go.

I didn't quite see what you were doing, 
But that was okay, because I was busy debating.

At first sight, you seemed just as you were sometime before, 
Then I realised, I don't hero-worship you anymore.

This what they meant when they said, "Move ON!"
But back then I was too bust crying over the fact that you were gone.

See, the thing is, I still like you, 
But it's just too much of a bother to love you, 
Because, when I do that, I become an anti-me, 
And I'd much rather be happy and be lonely.
You're not worth the trouble I put myself into, 
Screw You.
By the way, the situation is something like, 
It's your problem, all yours, not mine, 
Your loss, all yours, not mine, 

I've moved on, as is evident - 
I just thought you'd like to know.


 

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Procrastination--Friend of Foe?

1 comment(s) Posted by Stropko at 10:05:00 AM

Well here I am. Another Sunday night. Another load of homework to do. It's times like these that I ask myself, "Why the hell did you do this? You weren't that busy this weekend. You could have knocked out half of this already." But no. Of course not. I must yet again torture myself in the name of homework and procrastination. How much longer can I keep this up? Am I going to be like this when I'm older? Is this something I just grow out of? Gah, I'm much too speculative. And yet, these questions nag me. Sure, I could be like most people and just take my procrastination in stride, taking things day-by-day and living for the moment but no, I must persist in my constant worrying. And to top that off, I need to be reading, not writing blog posts. Oh well.

And on top of that, which college am I going to go to? I'm not even going to get into that. I'm worrying too much, I need to relax. And do AP Chem. Gah, I just realized I have AP Chem.

Yeah, this is starting to feel all rambly and stream-of-conscious-ey, so I'm thinking I should just stop. Yes, that's probably the best idea. Ok, I'll blog post sometime when I'm less introspective. Bye all of you Indian people...

Oh, and what's with the lack of comments? The only comments I've received are from Sahana correcting typos. Thanks for the hearty welcome. Psh.

 

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Post-It

6 comment(s) Posted by VelocityGirl (tm) at 10:33:00 PM

Okay, just a teeny post-it sort of blogpost today. First off, Stropko, congratulations on the license, now you can sneak around the tempting hamlet of SJC on four wheels legally. 

I noticed just now that this blog has three followers. We're getting popular, aren't we? Eight-odd readers and three followers, how perfectly peachy. (Yes, I said 'peachy'. Get over it.)

Not a lot has happened this week, aside from three days of school. And I haven't ditched yet, and I don't plan to. I feel very responsible. (*evil laugh*)

We've begun studying Quantum Physics in class, which is quite a trip. When your first lesson includes a Nobel-winning theory and something called Planck's Constant, you know you're in the major league. In the same vein, I must add here that I can now name all the major bones of the body, something that makes me feel very important. And I just have to, HAVE TO, add that my Bio teacher (M.Ali, not DrD) has the oddest sense of humour, ever. 

Learning about bones, he remarked : "The femur is the most powerful bone in the body, I should know. Why? Because a medical student once hit me over the head with one."
And then, he told us the story of how he used to play cricket in college, and the med-students got annoyed over some faulty umpiring, so they came to beat the opposing team up, with ten hockey-sticks, and one THIGH-BONE. So much for dinner-table anecdotes. 
OH! And I passed Chemistry. Sometimes, the big guy up there can't resist proving his presence to us non-believers. 

I'm also indulging in a spot of artwork, which makes me feel at peace with myself. Ah, love. 
Snow Patrol's album just leaked onto the Internet, and I am resisting temptation. I am NOT going to download it. I am NOT going to download 'A Hundred Million Suns'. 

Two-Odd Months to Christmas.

Playlist - Blackest Eyes, Porcupine Tree;
 House of the Rising Sun, Muse;
 Who Wants to Live Forever, Queen.

P.S. - A slightly happier alter-ego post is in the works. Maybe this time I'll focus on the relationships instead of the breakdowns.

 

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Licensed, but to what degree?

0 comment(s) Posted by Stropko at 1:25:00 PM

I am an officially licensed driver as of today. While it is extremely exciting (combine that with the fact that I now have my new laptop and you have one fantastic week), it got me thinking as to what it means to have a license. While the implications may not seem like much, I'm beginning to see that I'm not going to be hanging around home any more. It's a bit of a wake up call--while still under the complete jurisdiction of my parents, I will be out of the house soon. I'm becoming more independent, taking on more irresponsibility, and preparing myself for the ominous "real world" you always hear stuffy adults talking about.

And am I ready?

HELL NO.

I still feel like a kid. Yes, I have reaped the benefits that have inevitably come with age, and while I have grown much more intelligent and accumulated an impressive vocabulary, I by no means feel like an adult at heart. I'm not ready to hold down a steady job, or pick a career for that matter (sorry Sahana, I'm still not sure about the whole Cardiologist thing). I see an impasse approaching, but do not know what to do but avert my eyes and shield my face. Where do I want to college. What in the hell am I going to do with my life? I've got unbridled potential but no direction. As of late I've been leaning towards doctor of some sort, but sometimes I think maybe a lawyer would be cool. And then there's the rebellious side of me that wants me to just travel the world and fuck it all. He is in constant battle with the diligent, responsible part of me, who wants me to go to college and get a career. While I think when I get out of college I'm going to travel, I don't want to get tied down to some career I don't like. So much in this life you see people doing boring jobs, and being stuck there because they have a family to support. I want to avoid this, but I don't know what to do. Gah.

What to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do what to doooooo?

I'm confuzzled.

Oh, and P.S.--Something really annoying is happening. My PreCalculus teacher always likes to make up words that sound like other words (for example, he'll say slob instead of solve, or cluckulate instead of calculate), and it's rather infectious. Combine that with the fact that I have Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd stuck in my head, and I keep getting the line "to be a slimple....kind of man" stuck in my head. Damn Mr. Bakhos.

 

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