Scenes from a Tortured Childhood

Scene One:
Aim - To make little Sahana cry.
Apparatus - Some older children, Little Sahana's bad "boy-cut" hair
Procedure -
Older kids must tug at Little Sahana's hair and shout -"Sahana's got a WIIIIG! Sahana's got a WIIIIG!" until Little Sahana cries. And runs to Sahana's mother. Upon which Older Kids must taunt her for being a wimp.
Repeat for 5 years.

Scene Two:
Aim - To cruelly teach Little Sahana about fitness, and properties of Solids.
Procedure -
Take the fastest runner of the children that Little Sahana plays with, make sure Little Sahana does not know that she is being pitted against the fastest kid on the block. Now, make both runners run till a large black, solid metal door. Fast-Runner-Kid wins, (and stops just in time.) Little Sahana loses, AND learns that it is not impossible for humans to bounce off metal doors.

Scene Three:
Aim - Little Sahana learns about April Fool's Day.
Procedure -
On 1st of April, make all the mean kids hide out in different houses. Kid One calls up Little Sahana and asks her to come to their house and play. Little Sahana goes, but the maid who answers the door lies. She goes back home. Another call from another number. Same principle.
Little Sahana did not play with anyone that day. In case you were still wondering.



All are true stories.

8 Comments:

  1. Sujoy Bhattacharjee said...
    Just passing by....
    well there are lots of Little Sahanas around.....some wallow in self pity and risk becoming a recluse later in life, others take this as a tough learning experience and get on with life.
    Doubletake, Doublethink. said...
    as overused as this phrase has been these past few months, i have to go awwwwwwwwww.

    :D
    Rui said...
    Just when you thought nothing could beat that barrel of laughs in scene 2, scene 3's just around the corner to earn your applause after ten minutes of laughing your ass off.
    *claps* Killer material, Sahana, I think this topic has some future.
    VelocityGirl (tm) said...
    @Sujoy -
    If you knew how screwed up I am, you'd realise that all that messing with my head by the mean kids didn't go to waste. :D

    @Doubletake -
    I know. I know. On a side note, do let me know when you make popcorn. :P

    @Rui,
    I don't know whether to be happy with the "Killer Material" tag... or to be morbidly afraid that you found something as traumatic as this so cute.
    Rui said...
    Well, if it serves of any consolation, I don't find any of this cute, nor traumatic...just hilarious. I mean, even the wig bit....how do kids come up with that? xD
    The last one was kinda sad, but just as well the funniest, even so. But now I'm guessing you won't frown whenever I start spilling off my homicidal fantasies about children, will you? =)
    KD said...
    ilike.but yes,its a bit demented as well.
    Azuria said...
    o.o
    *agrees with whatever the person called kd said*

    wow! can't believe all this happened to you !!!

    kinda funny though ;)) like the whole "aim , apparatus , procedure" format :p makes me realise how much i hated chem ...and physics <_<
    Sahana said...
    Azuria,
    Meet Kd. Kaustav Das. He's the one with the Use Me sign. :P
    And, yes, the format is very sciency. Whatchu gonna do about it?

Post a Comment